White with Red Racing Stripes
Several months ago, Dusty informed me that he had found a car bed for Gunner. He was so excited to get it ready for our baby. Fast forward to this week and he mentioned the car bed again. I started thinking about "our plan". We would want to change the side of the crib for a week or two and see how that goes. Maybe even start with naps on a floor pallet to introduce it. (I will save you the rest of my thought process.)
We went to a birthday party today and came back to no crib. There was a white car bed with red racing stripes. Gunner loved it. He and his cousin played on it for the first 30 minutes we were home. I got anxious thinking about the change. This was not in "the plan" and so very Dusty. He might have been just as excited as Gunner. I have never seen "car" as a love language but his would definitely be just that.
Nap time was a total bust since my nephew was here. He is old enough to not take naps and Gunner wants to be a big kid when Kaleb is around. Scratch that, he KNOWS he is a big kid when Kaleb (Kabel in Gunner language) is around. We struggled for about an hour and realized it just was not going to happen. BonBon and Papa came over to make a big deal about the bed. Gunner jumped on it the entire time they were here. My anxiety only increased. We had supper and did a quick bath as it was later than we normally start bedtime routine. Once Dusty was done with Gunner's diaper and lotion, he handed him to me to rock. I had his blanket and his milk and he wouldn't even lay back. He struggled out of my arms and ran to his new bed. I tried to reason with him because all one year olds love a solid conversation. He climbed into the car bed with such excitement. We had to calm him down for a minute or two but he laid down and we covered him up. I walked out of his room, just KNOWING that he would call for me. I went straight for the monitor that we had charged up again for the big transition. Gunner started to sit up and I was ready to go save him from this torture. And then he turned to his tummy (I recognized this right away as my sign of defeat). He curled up and got still. I continued to watch for another twenty minutes.. you know, just in case he forgot he was a big boy.
I was so proud that this night was like any other night for him and then I was sad that I thought of him as a big boy instead of a baby. I was disappointed that he did not need me for "night night" anymore. I already missed those few minutes of rocking and all the little conversations we have. And then I had all that anxiety to get rid of since it was completely unwarranted. Luckily, I had my stomach ache to keep me company since my kid ditched me.
Have you ever noticed that you learn lessons when you do not want to? Turns out Gunner is a lot more like Dusty, besides their shared brown eyes. He was extra tired tonight since we had Kaleb and Koen last night but he seems like he is going to be a fly by the seat of his pants kinda guy. Like his Daddy. Like the opposite of me. I'm not sad that he isn't like me. Dusty makes decisions and acts on them in the same amount of time that I have come up with my option A and B, still working on Plan C. Tonight was just another reminder that my baby is a kid now, trying to work out his personality. It is so fun to see, even when it means I need (read: force myself) to move back a little. The good news is he still eats rocks so I still have to stay within a three foot radius.
Yes, I know Gunner still needs me but not in the same ways. This is hard for me, as a mom, and as a person. I thrive on routine, which is always changing with a child. This last month was a huge mental growth spurt for Gunner. New words, remembered and used later (scary!). He recognizes and understands our tactics (also scary!). Gunner answers questions now, which is strange since he is still a tiny human. We have always pushed him to learn and try new things. He is doing what we have encouraged. It can just be hard to remember this.. but I know he will be better for it. He will become a boy who hopefully loves school and making new friends. After that, he will become a teenager who wants a car with racing stripes (Lord, help us all, especially the Daddy who buys it for him). And then a man, just like his Daddy.
Just today, he became a boy who sleeps in a car bed. White with red racing stripes.
We went to a birthday party today and came back to no crib. There was a white car bed with red racing stripes. Gunner loved it. He and his cousin played on it for the first 30 minutes we were home. I got anxious thinking about the change. This was not in "the plan" and so very Dusty. He might have been just as excited as Gunner. I have never seen "car" as a love language but his would definitely be just that.
Nap time was a total bust since my nephew was here. He is old enough to not take naps and Gunner wants to be a big kid when Kaleb is around. Scratch that, he KNOWS he is a big kid when Kaleb (Kabel in Gunner language) is around. We struggled for about an hour and realized it just was not going to happen. BonBon and Papa came over to make a big deal about the bed. Gunner jumped on it the entire time they were here. My anxiety only increased. We had supper and did a quick bath as it was later than we normally start bedtime routine. Once Dusty was done with Gunner's diaper and lotion, he handed him to me to rock. I had his blanket and his milk and he wouldn't even lay back. He struggled out of my arms and ran to his new bed. I tried to reason with him because all one year olds love a solid conversation. He climbed into the car bed with such excitement. We had to calm him down for a minute or two but he laid down and we covered him up. I walked out of his room, just KNOWING that he would call for me. I went straight for the monitor that we had charged up again for the big transition. Gunner started to sit up and I was ready to go save him from this torture. And then he turned to his tummy (I recognized this right away as my sign of defeat). He curled up and got still. I continued to watch for another twenty minutes.. you know, just in case he forgot he was a big boy.
I was so proud that this night was like any other night for him and then I was sad that I thought of him as a big boy instead of a baby. I was disappointed that he did not need me for "night night" anymore. I already missed those few minutes of rocking and all the little conversations we have. And then I had all that anxiety to get rid of since it was completely unwarranted. Luckily, I had my stomach ache to keep me company since my kid ditched me.
Have you ever noticed that you learn lessons when you do not want to? Turns out Gunner is a lot more like Dusty, besides their shared brown eyes. He was extra tired tonight since we had Kaleb and Koen last night but he seems like he is going to be a fly by the seat of his pants kinda guy. Like his Daddy. Like the opposite of me. I'm not sad that he isn't like me. Dusty makes decisions and acts on them in the same amount of time that I have come up with my option A and B, still working on Plan C. Tonight was just another reminder that my baby is a kid now, trying to work out his personality. It is so fun to see, even when it means I need (read: force myself) to move back a little. The good news is he still eats rocks so I still have to stay within a three foot radius.
Yes, I know Gunner still needs me but not in the same ways. This is hard for me, as a mom, and as a person. I thrive on routine, which is always changing with a child. This last month was a huge mental growth spurt for Gunner. New words, remembered and used later (scary!). He recognizes and understands our tactics (also scary!). Gunner answers questions now, which is strange since he is still a tiny human. We have always pushed him to learn and try new things. He is doing what we have encouraged. It can just be hard to remember this.. but I know he will be better for it. He will become a boy who hopefully loves school and making new friends. After that, he will become a teenager who wants a car with racing stripes (Lord, help us all, especially the Daddy who buys it for him). And then a man, just like his Daddy.
Just today, he became a boy who sleeps in a car bed. White with red racing stripes.
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